Today I:

Did laundry!
Messed with the Bill Bryson book a bit.
Spent hours playing with the Tony Buzan memory thing.
Went to the night market (although it's a lie when they call it a night market - we went at 8 and most of the shops are packing up?)
Stumbled upon the US' Foreign Service Department's language manuals uploaded onto the internet, and started learning Arabic.
Watched a lot of Qi in between. And being a Chinese drill sargent for my brother by asking him what Chinese characters mean randomly throughout the day.

(why Arabic? Because a light of enthusiasm sparked in me when I saw an Learn Arabic book a while back. Because it's more unorthodoxed than fucking French, which I refuse to learn because all those mushy shallow types gush on about how romantic it is. Because I'm intrigued by the Middle East. It's also practical, but I'm also motivated by people's potential reaction when I tell them I'm picking up Arabic.

Next up - German and Japanese. I know, Japanese is as typical, but about half of the characters are Chinese characters, which I know anyway, so I assume I'll be able to cut steps.)

Today I:

Read on and spent 3 timeless hours reading/studying Bill Bryson's A Short History of Everything.
Did a bit of work on the CSS3.
Prevaricated quite considerably (as in waste time, not as in lied.)
Watched a most interesting documentary on Afghanistan.
Watched a most interesting Anthony Bourdain episode on Saudi Arabia.
Watched a most interesting documentary about...salt.

(Middle Eastern countries now top my to-go list, although it would be difficult.)

From: Bill Bryson's A Short History of Everything.

'[Atoms] are also fantastically durable. Because they are so long-lived, atoms really get around. Every atom you possess has almost certainly passed through several stars and been part of millions of organisms on its way to becoming you. We are each so atomically numerous and so vigorously recycled at death that a significant number of our atoms - up to a bllion for each of us, it has been suggested - probably once belonged to Shakespeare. A billion more each came from Buddha and Genghis Khan and Beethoven, and any other historical figure you care to name. (The personages have to be historical, apparently, as it takes the atoms some decades to become throughly redistributed; however much you may wish it, you are not yet one with Elvis Presley.)

So we are all reincarnations - though short-lived ones. When we die, our atoms will disassemble and move off to find new uses elsewhere - as part of a leaf or other human being or drop of dew.'

There you have it - the poetry that is life.
You do not have to believe in the divine to know that the world, is an amazing place.

(and although this is not as apparent out of context, but this thing that seems like soapy poetry, is true and does make sense)

What I did today #2:

Yesterday I:

Finished watching Wonderfalls.
Started learning CSS.
Resumed watching Qi.

Today I:

Watched Stuart Little (how could I missed Hugh Laurie after watching Stuart Little repeatedly when I was little? No connection at all to that man who acts in House. I was shocked when I spotted him in it. As one of the leads.)
Went out for dinner (Yes, a 600-ringgit dinner no one was really satisfied with. Food was very Chinese-posh, but not very nice.)
Went shopping and bought a bunch of...stationaries.

What I did today #1

Today I:

Learnt what's XHTML.
Started watching Wonderfalls.
Watched Gregory House crash a car into an ex-lover's house, and emphatised, besides completely understanding why.

I can't think of a title. Can't. Because I can't think today.

Found myself uncharacteristically emotional, uncharacteristically illogical, and uncharacteristically resistant to thought today.
After the 'religious experience' of reading Douglas Adams, and studying logical fallacies, I found myself having this change in the way that I think, and being able to unmask the silly statements for the silly statements that they clearly are. I'll excitedly learn things deductively, tracing back my steps and occasionally 'stepping back' a bit to ask myself what exactly is it that I don't understand. This is a skill that render me able to understand complex-ish theories, and learn things in general, while being able to read a newspaper article and point out whatever doesn't make sense (Malaysian newspaper articles covering politicians generally, of course).
Today, I can do nothing of that sort.
Tried learning HTML5, but whenever I reached bits I don't understand, I was emotionally resistant to trace back and define exactly what I don't understand. Gave up, and moved on to reading online. I realised I'm somehow resistant to make sense of it unlike normal, and felt like joining the irrational screaming mob yelling for blood below the page in the comments section - how easy would it be to easily simplify things into black-and-white today!

I wouldn't exactly call this laziness (because my laziness usually comes with lethargy, and I'm feeling incredibly awake and alert now), but emotional resistance. I feel like a ball of emotion right now - which doesn't mean that I would lash out at people or cry or anything external, you see. I feel like doing nothing of that sort. I'm not in any way unhappy, although I don't like this state I'm in now, since I hate non-productivity, and I can't really can't do anything well now - something's missing, this lovely cynical, snarky inner voice that spot things. And I can't even sleep it away - this is way before when I usually feel sleepy, and I feel incredibly awake right now.
So instead, I thought maybe it would be good for me to rant it off here, with this lousy post that I don't bother to edit (because I can't really, you see. 'Emotionally resistant', and whatnot).

But:
a) Jesse Eisenberg is wonderfully neurotic (his self-doubting voice reminds me of my self-doubting voice...perhaps his self-doubting inner voice and my self-doubting inner voice can be friends...at least if I can find my self-doubting voice back. WHERE ARE YOU YOU SELF-DOUBTING VOICE. Maybe I should post up a lost-and-found notice somewhere.)
b) Well at any rate, self-doubting voice, critical cynicism, you're sorely missed. I didn't realise how much I need you to carry out life satisfactorily. Although you make me feel like I'm rubbish on a daily basis, I realise without you I'd be rubbish, and didn't know how much I depended on you. Please be there tomorrow when I wake up. Thanks.

c) It's amazing how me referring to an article about Jesse Eisenberg quickly turned into bullet-point conversations. Which is exactly how blogposts would be like if they're not thought out properly and held back by a restraining hand.

d) I'm an INTP, don't you know? This actually explains everything (at least everything troubling) about me, and I'm greatly comforted. I will now be my weirdest self with much pride.

e) Come to think of it, this is probably what happens when someone is under the influence of alcohol. Inhibitions are lowered, and all the thought self-doubt rubbish probably flies out of the window. And come to think of it, I do feel like I can now probably talk to people with some resemblance of confidence and with less infuriating appendixes. But do I want to be someone socially apt but incapable of producing anything good? Hell no.

f) I think I will now go piss some hours off by looking for something British, and funny, to watch. Tinkety-tonk.

ps. phrases like 'Tinkety-Tonk' and 'don't you know' is something I picked up from too much Jeeves and Wooster over too short a span of time. It's just one of those delightful ways they speak. I guess some semblance of that appendix-attaching twat is still present for me to bother attaching this ps in smaller fonts.

pps. I think I'm settling on watching Total Celebrity Wipeout, UK's version of Wipeout. Because if the US version makes me laugh till my stomach hurts, imagine what the UK version would do for me. Might as well piss some time off my laughing the hardest I can now.

ppps. I think you should consider this post on your league of drunk calls/emails/facebook status update. I should not be responsible for this in the morning. I'm not drunk, having consumed nothing stronger than Green Tea which gave me a headache (if it's your fault, then damn you to hell green tea!), but by God do I feel funny.

Get Bored, and Carry On.

I have nothing to do now, at least nothing that the rest of the world deems fit for me to do to fulfill their definition of 'achievement', so I've been mostly flitting from one book to another, one subject to another, learning a bit here and there until I feel unsettled again, give up the thing, and pursue another.

I've picked up (and fallen in love with) the theoretical part of astrophysics and physics from Bill Bryson's A Short History of Nearly Everything; loved Adam Smith's Wealth of Nations (economics); just finished learning HTML; went a bit into Freud's Dream Interpretation (psychology); and sense I'll move on to languages, and the more technical part of economics (wtf is derivatives?). I'm also reading Dostoevsky, and occasionally picking up books I've read, for comfort. Now I'm wondering if I should start on xml, or if I should rewrite Tony Buzan's interesting, yet infuriating, memory book (infuriating because it's written in the cult-leader, motivational speaker-like tone).

The wide range of subject I've been flitting about in amazes me, actually; and for someone who, for most of he time, thinks whatever I do is horrid rubbish, I'm quite proud of this restless flitting about.

Feeling a little nostalgic sort of sadness now that I've finished watching Jeeves and Wooster (the ones that can be watched on my iPod anyway).
Anything from Fry and Laurie does that to me and makes me wish I live in the 90s. A Bit of Fry and Laurie, Jeeves and Wooster, Peter's Friends.

And I think I haven't really said it here, but Douglas Adams is awesome.

Swiss Cheese and Bullets

Go read Swiss Cheese and Bullets. Your soul will thank me for it, if it's anything like mine.
It's a blog written by a designer living in York, and you'll be treated to an aesthetically pleasing blog, and spiritually pleasing content, with small snippets of things that a twatty person like me would love.
There's occasional accurate insights that hits the nail right on the head and defines this subtle feeling of mine.
And since this is a blog of a designer, aspects of his work and his design-related interests would leak into the blog, and you'll be treated with pretty things (though pretty is probably the wrong word to use. It conjures up the image of something girly, quaint, and possibly pink. Nothing of the sort, it's just very aesthetically pleasing to me; twatty, Oxford shoes me.)
Oh, and he writes quite delightfully too.

A diversion, and then a banal bit of me telling you something about me.

In truth, writing the UndiMalaysia blogpost and then putting it up on facebook, then tagging a stupid amount of people, scares me immensely. I spent the last two days stupidly avoiding social networking sites, and hating the fact that from certain (many) angles, this looks to me like self-aggrandizement. The fact that it will most probably be on Loyarburok, I try not to think of.

But I do believe it's a groundbreaking campaign, though I don't quite know how to articulate it.
Don't you see how this might shift the focus from politics of drama to the real nitty-gritty? Less brilliant orators, more people who are actually fit to be given the power we're now giving politicians? Politics as it is now, even in the US/UK, is flawed because our natures are such that only great orators captivate us, and though human nature is such that it will never really be remedied, this campaign is a reminder that the policy bits are important too. I'll bring up Nazi Germany as being at least partly due to dangerous orators, but my earnestness must already be repelling. In short - great campaign that in retrospect, I'd gladly be emotionally distressed about, and one that I hope will move in the right direction.

Back to what I'm really here for: these sentences caught my eye when I was reading Doetstovsky's The Brother Karamazov -

Where will this slave go now that he is so accustomed to satisfying the innumerable needs he himself has invented?
They have succeeded in amassing more and more things, but have less and less joy.
I cut away my superfluous and unnecessary needs.

These days, I have this anathema for buying things I don't really need.
I'm more acutely aware of the subtle sort of unhappiness it causes, turning every decision to purchase one where I ask myself if I'll be really happy with owning that thing. The phrase 'the weariness of every new possession' resonates with me.
Even keeping things I don't really need has this underlying sort of unhappiness that permeates silently through daily life, in that subconscious, sneaky way of it.
The idea of Dessert Island possessions, only keeping things really of use; things that, given limited space, I'd bring to a Dessert Island, seems like a sort of heaven to be attained. But this instinct to possess holds me back, with the argument that I might need it in the future.
But well, moments ago I'm irritated by a piece of paper I don't really need, so I suppose it's junking-time soon.

For some reason I know that people will hate me for this, although I'm not extending my preference to others. Happiness manifests in different forms for everyone, and we do what it takes to attain it - mine just seems to be only owning things I need on more than a superficial level.

Does this design makes things especially difficult to read?

UndiMalaysia.

Well, like I said a while back, I'm marginally involved in a new voters' education initiative, UndiMalaysia. It's so interesting that anyone slightly interested in local politics (being interested would include doing things like moaning periodically about the way our country is headed), should sit up and take notice.

Stolen from Zain HD's facebook page, this is one of UndiMalaysia's meetings, the only one I've been to so far.

Am I the only one who has stopped reading local newspapers? They seem to be either filled with things I don't really want to know about, or politicians making logically unsound arguments, and I don't like working up my sense of indignation with my morning tea.

Local politicians, whichever side of the spectrum, are getting increasingly tiring (or perhaps they always were), with bile and lots of rubbish from both sides given center stage, and policy issues taking the back stage, while people like me can only wring their hands and tweet/blog/moan about the sillies engulfing politics. And perhaps we're the one feeding the media and the politicians, with our underlying desire for drama and simplicity that should be relegated to the side when politics is concerned, while policies are given more attention, as they should be. Do you know what Barisan Nasional, or Pakatan Rakyat, really represent? The policies they advocate? Their manifesto? Even when typing this, I don't. Instead of the clear-cut Conservatives-versus-Liberal parties abroad, the urban perception seems to be that BN is the anachronistic party getting too complacent, that needs a firework lit beneath them to wake up, while PR is the 'good', 'clean' party that although imperfect, is a better choice for the country. Besides the fact that PR seems intent on increasing government subsidy and PAS wants an Islamic state, I don't know anything about what either party represents (come to think of it, I don't even know what an Islamic state is.)

UndiMalaysia is a non-partisan initiative started by a bunch of hopeful people who want a change in the political dialogue in this country. Instead of focusing on personalities or perceptions of the parties themselves, they argue that maybe we should really be scrutinising, evaluating, and criticising political parties based on policy issues - because however interesting the political drama is, and however tempting it is easily classify one party as the 'good' one and the other as the 'bad' one, it is ultimately policies that would affect our lives in more concrete ways, and they thus deserve more attention than we've been giving them. Instead of fixating on the sex lives of our politicians, maybe we should evaluate them based on their political performance, and instead of relying on perceptions alone to favour any party, maybe we should choose them based on the policies that they advocate.

The group of volunteers (many familiar faces from the MyConstitution campaign or the LoyarBurok site) have already sketched out a range of issues UndiMalaysia will be focusing on: the right to housing, the right to water, the right to healthcare, the right to education, the right to food, and freedom of expression; but this range of issues is quite fluid and malleable.

UndiMalaysia is still in its early, conceptualisation stage, with possibly Youtube videos, designed pamphlets, and workshops, to come, but they've already kick-started several programmes like the Hulu Langat constituency project, and a Mock Election at Central Market (an interesting form of publicity for UndiMalaysia). I've spoken to people more central to this, and they both sound more than very interesting. And they're having a launch-party too, if I'm not mistaken!

Now, to the whole point of this blog post: I know UndiMalaysia would appreciate people who can help out any way they can. Like I said, it's still at the initial, conceptual stage of development, so any ideas would help (I'm about to suggest that they take the manifestos of both parties when election comes, and distill them down to a form that's anywhere interesting. And to find out what both parties think about the Islamic state issue once and for all). It is beneath me to mention that you'll be hob-nobbing with very cool people in the legal industry/very cool people from many industries, but I suppose a sniffly thing like contacts is a fringe benefit if you're still not convinced. Or if you're too shy to help out, you can make a mental note to look out for what they're doing next. UndiMalaysia would probably also appreciate some publicity, so spread the word if you found it interesting!

I see the appeal in politics of personality and perception - it's easy, and it's sensational. It's like watching a reality show. But it really shouldn't form the basis of how we vote. My understanding of democracy and elections tells me that it's about choosing policies that would affect your life, not choosing who you like most to represent you. Instead of a sense of futility about where this country is headed, this project gives you a chance to turn politics into a creature that's more desirable.
I support UndiMalaysia and its efforts in changing the tenor of our political dialogue!

.

Probably a better representation from those more in-the-know than I am: http://www.loyarburok.com/selected-exhortations/change-your-life-change-malaysia/

UndiMalaysia's Twitter feed: http://twitter.com/UndiMalaysia

If this manages to convince you, drop the lovely Ka Ee an email at undimalaysia [at] loyarburok.com . She'll explain this better than I do, and add you to UndiMalaysia's egroup.

Farce.

Confused by the announcements of the many rallies, all happening simultaneously on July 9th? Don't be. I'm here to explain and satirise things for you!

First, BERSIH, an election watchdog group campaigning for electoral reforms, announces that it is going to organise a (peaceful) street rally to bring to the attention of the general public a list of demands for a fairer election. They have the support of Pakatan Rakyat parties and activists. Since it claims to be a civil society group, this taints its non-partisan angle a bit.

Fairly comprehensible, for now. But this is followed by an announcement by Perkasa and several other NGOs that they will organise a counter-Bersih rally to protest against rallies and the negative effect they have on our country's economy and stability. Though it really beats me why they're organising a rally in protest of rallies - this seems awfully like an oxymoron, like fucking for virginity is. But Perkasa isn't a group generally known for reaching decisions after thinking it through logically, so this isn't an extraordinary turn of events.

Two rallies isn't very confusing what, you say. No, but today the powers that be decided to turn the notch up a bit and news floating in the cybersphere tells me that UMNO Youth is also organising a rally to counter/rival the Bersih 2.0 rally. Are they against rallies, like those who are getting together people for the anti-rally rally? No, it's organised to 'strengthen the democratic system'. Now, some news article that doesn't specify that it's having its own rally will lead you to conclude that UMNO Youth is just joining Bersih and are asking for electoral reform. Not so. If you pay closer attention, they're not asking for electoral reform precisely, but their rally is organised to 'strengthen the democratic system'. Positive electoral reform would strengthen the democratic system, sure, but electoral reform may or may not be one of their demands to strengthen the democratic system. This is also supposed to 'rival' the electoral reform group rallying on the same day. Khairy Jammaluddin said that they're not joining BERSIH because it has opposition agenda. So no, this is another, different rally. In other words, UMNO Youth also wants a piece of the pie.

Which makes three rallies, in toto, for now. But would more groups mushroom up and announce that they are organising rallies for something silly like protesting against the anti-rally rally? In fact, Kam Raslan was talking (not quite seriously) about organising a rally gathering music-lovers to demand for the deposition of Max Martin. By golly, maybe we should jump into the fray and have it on the 9th of July, since that's what everyone is doing! Or, you know what? The government should give up and consecrate July the 9th as Rally Day, where, for one day in a year, everyone can come together to protest whatever they're against. Just imagine, a day with a protest against Justin Bieber, a protest against people who are against Justin Bieber, a protest against Apple products, a protest about everything in general, and a protests about protests, even. A day where people with similar dislikes can unite and unleash the fury pent-up for the rest of the year.

In short, these rallies are quickly turning farcical. I support democracy, fair elections, and demonstrations in general (the latter two seems to me to be a necessary component of democracies anyway), but by God can't we have all three without sinking to the ridiculous?

Oxford Shoes: Because owner of blog is a twat, a specific form of twat even - to be precise the Urban Outfitters sort of twat. This name would automatically transmit to readers the sort of twat the person behind the blog, is.
And besides, blog owner also owns a rather lovely pair of oxford shoes.

(no, blog owner will no longer write in third-person form.)

Holiday doings.

Back from being incognito! So I suppose it's only polite to tell you what I've been up to.

1. Reading, quite a lot.

Especially since it's the holidays, and because I found a tip-top library that's (surprise) actually convenient and pretty cozy.

Fiction:

The Bell Jar, Sylvia Plath.

Finally. Great, as expected.

Howard's End, EM Forester [project guttenberg]

Also quite lovely (and the parent of this quote that is now an occasional reminder for myself).

If you want to read this, you can actually get it, quite legally, online.

Freedom, Jonathan Franzen.

Borrowed this from the library. Gave up after 3 pages because his writing style is so frustrating.

The Jeeves and Wooster stuff. [Project Guttenberg]

Absolutely spiffy, this! PG Wodehouse uses English so playfully, so beautifully. It flows effortlessly, and they're just joyful pieces of work.

Salmon of Doubt, Douglas Adams.

Yes, he of the brilliant quote about deadlines. I suspected he was brilliant (from my dalliance with Stephen Fry's stuff) but didn't know the what I was getting myself into until I started reading anything written by him.

And by God, was it a religious experience. Douglas Adams is incredibly funny, while managing at the same time to be incredibly original, incredibly intelligent, and incredibly brilliant (quite a feat, don't you think?). Even after about a month, the book is still with me (it's a library book whose borrowing period I keep extending). I'm being exceedingly selfish by depriving another of a Douglasian balm in their (possible) time of need, but this book is so comforting in any time of self-doubt/self-loathing.

(by the way, he's the author of the Hitchhikers' Guide series. Don't dismiss them as being silly science fiction nonsense, you wouldn't even notice they're science fiction, because they're quite, quite brilliant. Here's a taste of his writings.)

Non-fiction:

Representations of the Intellectual, Edward Said.

Probably not up your alley, but it was inspiring, for me.

A Short History of Nearly Everything, Bill Bryson.

Another booty from Mecca (the library, in laymen-speak). Tired of knowing nothing about the sciences? This is the book for you. Bill Bryson, he of the many books on different topics, condensed it for beginners, and it manages to be quite interesting, and occasionally funny. It's nowhere near satisfying if you wish to delve deeper into, say, the Big Bang theory that's explained there, but it's a good introduction that gets you acquainted with the sciences. I spent many hours on this, figuring out the Big Bang theory and things like the theory of relativity.

Inquiry into the nature and causes of the wealth of nations, Adam Smith. [Project Guttenberg]
The book that probably started the study of Economics. Similarly fun as above, if you idea of fun is many hours spent figuring out theories by yourself, which mine happens to be.

2. Epic journey from Penang to Taiping and back.
And of course, a journey like that involves lots of food, mostly heavenly.

Top class fried kuey tiao - Gurney Drive, the stall with the noticeable queue. The one at Penang Road where they sell their famous cendol, scrubs up pretty well too.

Heong Peng (Tambun biscuits) - defo Him Heang. Him Heang is better than Ghee Heang, says my palate. And I have a rather discerning palate.

Assam Laksa - We had the Ayer Itam one, reportedly the best in Penang. I didn't like it much - too bitter, somehow.

Seafood numerous times. Teluk Kumbar (Penang), the salted egg crabs are heavenly. And I had the best grilled stingray ever in an unsuspecting nook in Taiping!

3. Lastly (I'm running out of steam here) Jeeves and Wooster, the series.
Have you known Stephen Fry/Hugh Laurie to star in anything mediocre on screen? I haven't (though I heard their Alfresco was embarrassingly awful), and they do not disappoint in this 20-year old tv screen incarnation of Jeeves and Wooster. Stephen Fry is spot-on in his interpretation of Jeeves. If you only know Hugh Laurie from House, try watching a clip of these back-to-back with an episode of House. It's quite disorienting - same man, 20 year age gap, different accents, and playing quite different characters. In Jeeves and Wooster he's a loveable, yet feeble-minded aristocrat.
Both characters are transmuted perfectly on screen, with impeccable acting. The script manages to convey Wodehouse perfectly onto screen, too.
Of course, it is also very funny.
Here's the first episode. Stick on at least till the second one if you don't like the first, it gets better:



4. I'm also slightly involved in a voters' education programme, too. But more on that in another post, because it's much too interesting to be meshed up and forgotten amidst all these messy narrations about things that I've been doing; and this post is getting far too long, even for me.

(pls post strongly-worded comments about the food bit, if you have any. Thanks.)
(food recommendations would be welcomed with an online hug, too.)

#1

Well hello there. More things to come ;)
If you're bored waiting, read the rubbish I tweet, because I hesitate a lot less when it comes to typing bits of text with a 140-character limit.

What ho!