# I was drifting in and out of listening to BBC Radio 4 yesterday (I was studying, you see), and I caught something about a politician heaping abuse on a journalist, using the word 'wordsmith' repeatedly, derogatorily.
I do happen to think that's a very nice word to call someone who fiddles with words.
If I'm to call myself anything, that is what I'm going to call myself. Writer/blogger screams "YOU THINK YOU ARE GOOD, DON'T YOU" (and I'm the cowardly sort who fears, at every moment, someone's going to scream that in my face and go on a spiel about how I'm not very good at all). Author no, because I don't write books.
Yes, wordsmith would do, though I'm not calling myself anything as of now. An inner voice clucks disapprovingly and is telling me I'm giving myself airs.
# I was getting angsty sitting at my table doing tort-lawly things, so I went downstairs with my mind set on cooking instant noodles. I didn't bother turning on the lights of the kitchen, because I can see well enough with the light streaming in from outside the kitchen. In the dark, I sort of saw this fluttery shadow of a black thing darting quickly across a pot I moved, but I can't see anything, so sort of told myself I must be seeing things.
I turned on the lights later, and saw a cockroach hovering around the sink.
Now, I have this odd relationship with cockroaches. I think they're vile creatures and I don't like them, but I do realise the poor things can't help being what they are.
And having read Kafka's Metamorphorsis, and probably too much Nazi-related literature, I now think that me, personally, killing cockroaches (or any other insect that doesn't bite me for a living) is like being a Nazi.
You're killing them off because you don't like the look of them, the slimy creatures. That's exactly what the holocaust was about.
But they're not human, you argue, so killing them is different from killing the Jews?
That's what the Nazis said about the Jews - that they're subhuman, not like us, which justifies the killing.
This explanation is very badly developed, but think about that the next time you want to squash a cockroach.
# I was following the Apple keynote address with slight interest, because I had my eyes on what speculators call 'a cheaper version of the iPhone 4'.
Yes, yes, there isn't going to be an iPhone 5 this year. You can feel the tears, anger (and the incredible desire to lynch someone) from those who worship at the shrine of Apple. After being led on for so long, how would they survive not having a new iPhone 5 to slobber over in the next few days?
But I was also pricking my ears and twitching my nose in anticipation of their new software announcement. There is just this enthusiasm at every Apple keynote event. Apple is one of the forerunning innovators in the current digital universe, and it is exciting to pay attention and see the new shiny bauble they're unveiling, and figure out how you can use it to make your life easier.
Well, they've unveiled Siri this time - a voice-activation programme that actually works.
I'm a bit of a MacGyver, so I can easily see how that can be utilised. I can also see how I wouldn't be able to help but append a 'please' at the end of the sentence whenever I'm using the system. Bit ridiculous, but I can't help but being polite, even to something that probably wouldn't appreciate it. Doing anything else makes me uncomfortable.
But then again, you'll never know - it might be convenient to cultivate a good habit in anticipation of the time they eventually create sentient devices, like those in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
I'd like something that would get sulky/upset if you leave out your please and thank yous.
*Ohh, can you choose the 'personality' Siri adopts? I'm lobbying for a Jeeves sort of personality, probably voiced by Stephen Fry.
Instead of dull, generic questions from a sat-nav voice going 'What would you like to do now?' or something of that effect, you get polite questions phrased in Jeeves' posh-English-valet sort of style. An everyday delight.
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